I haven’t been doing so well writing wise lately. Since finishing my latest fanfiction story, I’ve been struggling to concentrate. Part of this is because of a case of that infamous and dreaded ‘Writer’s Doubts’ that decided to creep up on me from behind and take me hostage. The ransom was too high so I had to fight my way free, though as many writer will tell you – when it comes to doubts, you are never fully in the clear. They’re always there, niggling at the back of your mind.
Consequently, it took me a little bit to convince myself that I’m not just deluding myself into thinking I can be a ‘proper writer’ like so many I admire. A lot of the time, it’s a matter of pushing on in the hopes that it’ll get better and that eventually you’ll get somewhere. Sometimes, you don’t truly believe the positive things you tell yourself, but you say them all the same because if you don’t, all those negative thoughts will gain too much control and you’ll find yourself in a downward spiral.
That’s kind of what I’ve been fighting against lately. It was made even worse when I tried to start some work on an old Nano story that needs completing – but before I can complete it, I need to rewrite what I’ve already written (all 50, 000 words of it) and remember where it was I was going in the first place. And it felt like a lot of work, as editing can be truly hellish work because it involves a much more critical eye than just writing.
So that didn’t work out. I couldn’t concentrate properly and I didn’t want to do a bad job of it because I felt like I should work on it. Instead, when I do edit it, I want to have my full concentration on it so that it’ll be the best it can possibly be for when the next stage of editing comes around.
Similar story with my latest Nano story too. Only, I tried to hold off on the editing and simply wanted to reread what I had already written for continuity’s sake. I didn’t want my main characters to have a backpack in one scene and then none in the next, or no backpack and then suddenly they have a magical one that appeared from thin air. That type of stuff can be evil to fix when editing (it really can!). Plus, I also needed to know how much I had already revealed to my main character and how much I had left to reveal...
I still want to do that. I still want to finish BOTH of these Nano stories and get them edited and ready to send out. But as my mind doesn’t seem to be in THAT place at the moment, with either of these stories, I’ve ended up putting both to the side, just for now.
Instead, I’m trying to concentrate on a new story. I’m hoping that something fresh, something new, will help kick-start my muse. I’m hoping this will be just what I need. I guess we’ll see.
In other news, I’ve finally started sending Nate out and I’m hoping something will happen with him this year. Whatever happens though, whatever doubts I run into, I won’t give up. Writers are writers for a reason. It’s in our blood and is impossible to deny.
Evil doubts! I know them well! They are like a monkey on your back! (and not the cute and cuddly kind!) It is good to keep repeating the positive things to yourself, love. AND you SHOULD believe them! They are all true! Well maybe not the one about being Mrs. Colin Morgan ;p (not yet anyway!)
ReplyDeleteBut you definitely need to give the negative voices in your head a kick in the arse and shut them up so that positive voice can whisper in your ear again! Matter-of-fact you should get Nate to kick that voice's arse!!!! hehehe I am sure he would enjoy that!
You are wonderful and beautiful and awesome! Inside and out! And you are by far one of the best writers I have read! You are in my top 10 of all time! Up there with Anne Rice, Kathy Reichs and J.K. Rowling! And WAY above Stepehnie Meyer (she is in my top 20 though not my top 10)...Don't judge me! lol I put her there for the idea only of her series though it could have been SO much better written and had a better main character!
Don't give up! EVER!!! You are a writer and will soon be published and filling my empty book shelf along with Schelz (I reserved the shelf for you two and B!)
Oh and as for your incompletes remember this lil tidbit Anne Rice put Interview with the Vampire unfinished in a drawer for 10 years before she dusted it off and built a best selling series around it! There is ALWAYS hope!
Doubts are truly evil and it would be so easy to give into them. I just keep reminding myself that more than anything, I'm made for writing... I mean, I'm weird, a little bit anti-social, I stay up waaaay too late at night, and I spend too much time with imaginary characters moving about my head.
Delete*hugs* Thanks, chick. Having friends whose opinions I respect and trust does also help immensely when it comes to fighting that doubt. As for Nate, his ego is so huge I have to let the air out of his head periodically.
I keep thinking, in the future, how awesome it would be for us all to be at a writing convention together. It's definitely too early to give up. ^_^
I can't believe Anne Rice had Interview with a Vampire locked away for ten years. Sometimes, with some stories, it's all a matter of timing.
I think even when you're published, and there are no ifs, but when you are published you will still doubt yourself. Hundreds of people will be reading your stories and falling in love with your characters, still you'll question yourself and your ability, even worse when ONE bad review shows up in the pile.
DeleteI think writers are probably the most insecure people on Earth but I believe wholeheartedly that we were meant to be writers.
So, I'm here to tell you that the doubts will never go away, but guess what? Neither will I and neither will your thirst and passion to create, build and imagine. I have no qualms in reminding you periodically that you are awesome and incredibly talented, and destined for great things.
We're not perfect and as your friend, I promise to always be honest whether it's good, kinda good, could be better or downright epic! And one day WE WILL be at a convention together talking about when we were in a small corner of the world stroking each other's egos (that sounds vaguely dirty).
The point is, doubt is for the humbled, down to earth kind of people, and you my friend are right up there with the best of them. Doubt begets hard work x 1000!
Write what you enjoy now and pick up your nano stories later. <3 *HUG*
*HUGS!* We shall make it! We shall prevail!
DeleteI look forward to the day when we find our ways to a convention :D Because it'll happen ^_^
I owe so much to you for giving me the faith to believe in myself! I dread to think how empty my desk would be if I hadn't found my way back into writing - all this clutter, these books and notepads, it would look neater without them, but then it would be kind of sad.